snakebitcat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
snakebitcat) wrote2002-01-28 11:30 am
snakebitcat) wrote2002-01-28 11:30 am
How many ________ does it take to change a lightbulb?
I read a list of lightbulb jokes with the various denominations of Christianity being used, and decided to come up with some pagan ones that hadn't been used yet.
(Or at least that I couldn't remember having been used yet.)
So presented for your amusement, here's what I wrote. Feel free to add some, if you want to.
Wiccans: Seven: One to call the elemental spirits at each quarter to guard the sanctity of the circle, one to invoke the god to escort the spirit of the dead bulb into the Summerlands, one to invoke the goddess to breathe life into the new bulb, and one to perform the symbolic representation of the Great Rite that is the insertion of the bulb into the socket.
Discordians: Only one, but he'll swap the dead bulb with somebody else's live bulb.
Dianics: Only one, but the entire coven will have to discuss the way that the shape of bulb and socket are representative of patriarchal oppression beforehand.
OTO: None. The light bulb's burning out was the ultimate expression of its True Will.
Setians: None. The light is only there to distract us from the of darkness at the core of our own souls.
Voudoun: None; simple household tasks like changing light bulbs are what they make zombies for in the first place.
Deists: One. Arriving at illumination is your own responsibility.
(Or at least that I couldn't remember having been used yet.)
So presented for your amusement, here's what I wrote. Feel free to add some, if you want to.
Wiccans: Seven: One to call the elemental spirits at each quarter to guard the sanctity of the circle, one to invoke the god to escort the spirit of the dead bulb into the Summerlands, one to invoke the goddess to breathe life into the new bulb, and one to perform the symbolic representation of the Great Rite that is the insertion of the bulb into the socket.
Discordians: Only one, but he'll swap the dead bulb with somebody else's live bulb.
Dianics: Only one, but the entire coven will have to discuss the way that the shape of bulb and socket are representative of patriarchal oppression beforehand.
OTO: None. The light bulb's burning out was the ultimate expression of its True Will.
Setians: None. The light is only there to distract us from the of darkness at the core of our own souls.
Voudoun: None; simple household tasks like changing light bulbs are what they make zombies for in the first place.
Deists: One. Arriving at illumination is your own responsibility.
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a. three blue fish.
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Q: How many surealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2. One to fill the bathtub with shiny bits of metal, one to skin the giraffe
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Alexandrians: How many Gardnerians does it take?
Asatru: None - we'll just burn everything and see by the flames.
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