Roleplaying in D&D

(Got this from a friend, and figured that my gamer friends would get a kick out of it. Enjoy!)

If there were roleplaying games in D&D...

DRIZZ'T:  George, you have entered the door to the north.  You are now in your cubicle sitting on your office chair.  The smell of warm coffee emanates from the nearby breakroom.

GROK (OFF STAGE):  Where are the fried rat tails?

DRIZZ'T:  THEY'RE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!

STEELBEARD:  I send an email.

GROK (OFF STAGE):  WHERE'S THE GROG?

DRIZZ'T:  BEHIND THE BAR, DUH!

STEELBEARD:  I wanna send an email!

GROK (OFF STAGE):  CAN I HAVE SOME GROG?

DRIZZ'T:  YES YOU CAN HAVE SOME GROG, JUST GO GET IT!

STEELBEARD:  I can send to anyone right, on the list?

DRIZZ'T:  Yeah, any..anyone on the distribution list.

GROK (OFF STAGE):  I'M GONNA GET SOME GROG, ANYONE WANT SOME?  HEY, DRIZZ'T I'M NOT IN THE ROOM, RIGHT?

DRIZZ'T:  WHAT ROOM?

STEELBEARD:  I wanna send..a CORPORATE MEMO!

GROK (OFF STAGE):  THE ROOM WHERE HE'S SENDING ALL THESE EMAILS FROM!

DRIZZ'T:  HE HASN'T SENT ANYTHING YET!

STEELBEARD:  I am though, if you'll listen..I'm sending a CORPORATE MEMO!

DRIZZ'T:  Why are you sending a corporate memo, there's nobody to send it to?

STEELBEARD:  I'm sending it to IT Helpdesk.

(laughter ensues)

DRIZZ'T:  Fine, fine.  You send an email to IT Helpdesk.  There's a mail room clerk in front of you.

STEELBEARD:  Woaahh!

KARL BLOODRAVEN:  That's me right?

DRIZZ'T:  He's wearing a..a brown jacket, and black shoes and a blue tie.

KARL BLOODRAVEN:  No, I don't, I have a gray tie.

DRIZZ'T:  Let me see that sheet.

KARL BLOODRAVEN:  Well, it says I have..well, it says I have a blue tie but I decided I want a gray tie.

DRIZZ'T:  WhatEVER.  You guys can talk to each other now if you want.

STEELBEARD:  Hello.

KARL BLOODRAVEN:  Hello.

STEELBEARD:  I am George, team lead of IT.

KARL BLOODRAVEN:  Then how come you had to send an email to IT Helpdesk?

(laughter)

DRIZZ'T:  You-you-you guys are being spammed.

GROK (OFF STAGE): DO I SEE THAT HAPPENING?

DRIZZ'T:  NO, YOU'RE IN THE BREAKROOM DRINKING COFEE.

GROK (OFF STAGE):  COOL, I GET A COFFEE BUZZ.

DRIZZ'T:  There are seven new spam messages in your mailbox.

STEELBEARD:  How can they spam us, I had a spam filter up!

DRIZZ'T:  No you didn't.

GROK (OFF STAGE):  I'M GETTING BUZZED, ARE THERE ANY DOUGHNUTS IN THE SNACK MACHINE?

STEELBEARD:  I totally did!  You asked if I wanted a raise before this adventure, and I said no, but I need programs to install a new spam filter, so I installed a new spam filter.

DRIZZ'T:  But you never actually installed it.

GROK (OFF STAGE):  ROLL THE DICE TO SEE IF I'M GETTING BUZZED!

DRIZZ'T:  (sigh) (roll) YEAH, YOU ARE!

GROK (OFF STAGE):  ARE THERE ANY DOUGHNUTS IN THE VENDING MACHINE?

DRIZZ'T:  YEAH!

STEELBEARD:  I did though!  I completely said when you asked me...

DRIZZ'T:  No you didn't!  You didn't actually say you were installing the filter so now there's spam, okay?

GROK (OFF STAGE):  SPAM?  MAN, I HAVE NORTON ANTI-SPAM VERSION 9.  IT HAS A +9 AGAINST SPAM!

DRIZZ'T:  YOU'RE NOT THERE, YOU'RE GETTING BUZZED!

GROK (OFF STAGE):  OKAY, BUT IF THERE ARE ANY DOUGHNUTS, I WANNA *BUY* THEM!