Scary thought...

[snakebitcat]

Been doing some thinking about the past lately - part of it had to do with me finally admitting, when talking to a couple of my friends, that one of the major motivations I had in going through with the marriage was because I thought that was as good as it was going to get. That I just wasn't going to find anybody better that I could get married to.

I'm starting to wonder how much of my current desire to stay unmarried could be caused by some part of me still believing that.

Comments

[blkdragon.livejournal.com]

It can get better.

Re:

[prodigal.livejournal.com]

I know it can, but my marriage was just plain bad. So there's at least part of me that thinks "If that really is as good as it could get for me, no thanks."

*hug*

[belisamabranwen.livejournal.com]

That I just wasn't going to find anybody better that I could get married to.

There are kinda two parts to that statement. Is it that you don't think there's anyone better out there? Or that you think you couldn't marry anyone who might be better than that?

Anyway, I know how you feel.

Re: *hug*

[prodigal.livejournal.com]

There are plenty of women out there that are better people than my ex - it's the lingering suspicion that my marriage prospects on that side of the curve are nil that I'm dealing with.

I don't know ...

[belisamabranwen.livejournal.com]

... you can't have asked *all* of them ;-) j/k

Sorry, I don't mean to make light of how you feel, because I know exactly what that feeling is like. You just have to work past that suspicion, especially since I have a feeling you haven't given things the full go since your divorce. Maybe I'm horribly wrong, in which case I'll shut up now.

Anyway, the thought that no one will understand, appreciate, or love you for who you are enough to spend a long period of time with you is utterly crushing.

Trust me. This I know.

The good with the bad...

[kerinda.livejournal.com]

It is mucho good that you are finally admitting and opening up about these things: it is the first step in understanding what is holding you back from what you really want from life. Seriously, when you begin to understand that it is a mental block within yourself, then you can begin to work on that wall to bring it down, or at least make a crawlspace through it. Before you know it, someone will start hacking away from the other side.

Just my perspective, of course. :)

Re: I don't know ...

[nyyki.livejournal.com]

And then you end up dating a psycho hose beast like my Ex. Not the ex spouse, the one after my marriage.

After looking at that situation, I find myself quite happy to be single. And all my friends have been told to NEVER let me do anything like that again. If I start dating someone that evil again, I am to be conked onthe head and shipped to Budapest via slow freight. By the time I get home, I'll have most likely come to my senses.